It’s our first episode since the Fourth of July, the date recognized the world over as the anniversary of the date Lord Donald Trump attained Constitutional Buddhahood. This week: Every other country should give up their retarded language and speak English. Doktor Faux makes the “Call of Duty” argument for patriotism, citing America’s sweet K/D ratio. Stolen Valor is a felony, but Fidd Chewley knows a guy who sublets him some valor under-the-table, so it’s all good. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] is doing the show EFFED-THE-EFF-UP from mixing rum with the meds he’s taking for dem Shingles, and Fidd pre-emptively gives him the Kenny Floyd Award. NEW GAME: “Is It a Band?” We try to play it. It “works”. By the end of the show, peas does a good job apologizing for everything except the fact that the Blind Eye segment never completely got off the ground, but that’s not bad for a guy who is, as I said earlier, EFFED-THE-EFF-UP on Shingles meds and rum.
It’s the EPISODE #25 CELEBRATION SPECTACULAR! Season 1 of this show is aiming to be one million episodes long, so we’re celebrating the fact that we only have 999,975 episodes left in this season! Our FORMER co-host, Reverand peas [sic], wanted to be a guest on his own show so badly that he QUIT HIS SHOW just so he could come back as a guest on it– and he did! Topics NOT covered in this episode: the 2017 Serbian presidential election, the reconciliation of Judeo-Christianity with The Church of Non-Gustatory Hydrostatism, cherry-flavored toilet paper, the over-use of hy-phens, and how to properly determine the gender of a Klein bottle (don’t assume my topology.
Doktor Faux argues in favor of legalizing medical tobacco; Fidd Chewley argues in favor medicinalizing legal tobacco. Reverend Caller #23 makes a personal appearance at Hypercube Studios to discuss the tastiest scab he ever got. Faux, Fidd, and RC#23 perform a table read of a Rick & Morty script. Later in the show; Reverend 80, Apostasy X Fnord, and Reverend Couchsloth join the show to participate in the “DAG, YO” segment.
http://media.blubrry.com/timefortheshow/p/hypercubelaboratory.com/podcasts/0123TFTS20180611.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Google Play | TuneIn | RSSThis week’s pennjillettes…
Another Wosrt-Of episode! The stream crashed several times during the live broadcast, but we managed to scrape the resin of the show from the pipe of the soundboard, smoke it, and blow the smoke into a laptop running a sound editor. This week: Peas outlines the pros and cons of hoarding your own feces. Doktor Faux snorts a ramen noodle flavor packet for Jesus. Fidd reveals all of YOUR dirtiest secrets. Faux & Fidd talk about their recent trip to the Minor Basilica of Mary, Queen of the Universe, where the guards have handguns! The fine for smoking in an elevator in Maryland is ONLY $25! Fidd convinces peas that it’s okay for him to drink on antibiotics because he’s a heavyweight. Peas & Fidd get gay-married and go back to their Africa (Ireland). Doktor Faux reviews Fidd’s new product: suppository cigarettes. The phrase “Cheddar Bay” should only be followed by “biscuit”. Fidd won’t shutup about groundhog jizz.
Who would win: one steroider, or one crackboi?? This question has plagued self-appointed dipshits since times pseudo-memorial, measured on the scale of DOZENS OF HOURS AGO, but this week’s pennjillette, HMFIC Doc Ellis, breaks it all THE FUCK DOWN for y’all’s. You think you’re sexy enough to listen to this episode? You’re probably right — IT’S THAT BAD!! This is the first intentionally un-lost, surprise/regularly-scheduled episode in cerebro-apocalyptic history! Because Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn’t show up until mere minutes before the scheduled end of the show, we continued for A WHOLE EXTRA HOUR — mostly just to allow peas to offer his Blind Eye submission and the fan-favorite: peas apologizes to everyone for everything ever. Uninitiated viewers are hereby admonished to approach this episode in a mature manner, not succumbing to the temptations of low-hanging toilet humor and cultish sophistry.
Peas had a tummy ache in his tooth, so his overstudy, Dr K’taden Legume, joins the show to play his part and tell us how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a cyanide pill. Fidd blind-eyes instant oatmeal for not being instant. Faux plays every version of 20th Century Man except the version peas requested.
“He who shits before he showers yet still wipes his ass is a fool.” — Book of Fidd, 2:73
For the THIRD week in a row, TIME FOR THE SHOW is rated the number one Canadian internet radio show in southeast Asian sweatshops! Jackie Robinson, the baseballist, does NOT make an appearance in this episode, but Reverand [sic] peas [sic], Doktor Faux, and Fidd Chewley manage to break the baseball color-barrier for the first time in the 21st century ALL BY THEMSELVES! We’re HEROES. This is the episode where Doktor Faux makes a polygraph machine question itself, Reverand [sic] peas [sic] lobbies for the rights of melted plastic army men, and Fidd Chewley promotes his new business — selling the unibrows of school bus drivers. This week’s episode is sponsored by Family Crest, the incestuous toothpaste.
“You’re gonna have to carry this one, peas!” Holy jumpin’ jeeperwinks; Fidd and Faux are recovering from two straight days of eating nothing but lunar regolith and popcorn. Peas wins a free trial-size box of Lucky Charms for being the millionth customer at the whites-only nail salon.
Doktor Faux runs out of toilet paper and must wipe his ass with his collection of defunct Chuck-E-Cheese tickets. Fidd elaborates on this week’s life hack: how to properly chill tampons for use on hot days.
This week’s pennjillette is Reverend Couchsloth, who joins in the second half of the show to confirm Fidd’s spiritual diagnosis. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] can’t seem to stop talking about how tort reform will affect NASA. Doktor Faux blows bubbles into the microphone in an attempt to appeal to our five-to-nine-year-old demographic. Fidd looks into the show code and discovers that robot nipples are programmed to twist themselves. The unacceptable truth that the End Times of every religion have ALREADY HAPPENED on the SAME DATE IN THE PAST is revealed. All listeners to this episode will have the overdue balances Blockbuster accounts WIPED CLEAN. You’re welcome.