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I’ll be honest, I really like the original Star Wars films. I grew up as only a minor-enthusiast of it, a few toys a couple t-shirts and copies of the first trilogy. It was the 90’s so a lot of the fandom was mainly 30-year-old neckbeards exchanging floppy disks of pictures of C-3PO’s spinning penis.
A new sponsor: Betty Crocker’s Poop Roll-Ups. Time is fake because calendars are gay. Faux tells a joke. The TIME FOR THE SHOW “Take Kids Around the World” charity. Fidd is a WWII veteran. Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight. Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley. Canadian Felon summer camp. Who peed in your bongwater? A highly surmountable problem. BLIND EYES! Peas disapproves of Fidd’s Blind Eye. DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome. Mature language is immature. IS IT A BAND –> Round one: Bicyclops. Round two: Insecurity Council. Round three: Stinkfinger. Round four: The Radioactivists. Viewer mail: “What happened to the funny parts of the show?” Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist. Peas explains to you why you’re listening to this show. Arli$$. We kiss each other. Weekly Patreon love. CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?! Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone. Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer. The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt. Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. The ceremonial on-air sound check. Peas gets Teller on the show and demands the ears of Democrats. Hosts’ questions for Teller. Time for the Show: fuck, merry, kill. Monday is Bottomless Bread Night for Illuminati members only. A second round of Blind Eyes. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR GOOD CONTENT. Is It a Brand: the “Rumbleball” brand medicine ball. If you want to avoid seeing the movie “Venom”, simply impregnate your wife LIKE DOKTOR FAUX DID!! Peas dutifully apologizes for this episode. Our sacred Google Play link.
Fidd is drunk. Caller #23 joins the show as peas’s understudy. Daylight Savings Time, Ontario, 1908. Hitler was the first in space. Fidd sneezes drunkenly. Our Discord’s users’ meme war. Calvin peeing on Calvin. Peas pokes fabric. Fidd is drunk. RIP Whitey Bulger. Peas gets racialist. Jodi Arias sends Fidd some bagels. The reason crazy kids aren’t allowed gum. Is Peas our Klinger or our Radar? Who are you vaping? “Unicorn space jism”. The twenty-third caller. Patreon love. Fidd is drunk. Doesn’t Faux know it’s just a show? Fidd’s disambidextrous throne. Hazel of the Windmills’s fourtune read by peas. Fidd drunkenly interprets a bible verse for Hazel. The Google Play link. Peas leaves Caller #23 in charge. IS IT A BAND?! Caller #23 apologizes for the show on behalf of peas.
Doing show #3 material on show #42. Peas explains how to get even. Let’s cuss! Numbers make peas cough. Fidd bails peas out. Reverend Evan Stronge. Viewer mail (take one). Carrots’s nice letter to the mailman. Viewer mail (take two). Bed Bath & Beyond is secretly a titty bar.
Box tragedy update. The three Ps of perfect peas publicity. What NOT to do. Obligitory PSA. Disclaimer, ahoy! Mail fraud “might” be illegal. The real porch pirates of Las Vegas. Episode art contest! Whoopin’ Faux. One last voicemail. The Kenny Floyd award. Weezer concerts, rum, and “findoras”. Peas apologizes. Fidd apologizes to peas. Peas apologizes more. Faux apologizes to Gavin McInnes. THANK YOU!
This week Peas is back and full of vinegar as he discovers an exciting new way to waste taxpayer’s money. Fidd Chewley grasps the desk and holds on for dear life as the cosmos spins around him while Doktor Faux manages the comm board with exactly ONE more beer in him than usual. Peas then interviews Faux as practice for his still-upcoming new show, and the boys talk crap about China. Scalpod shows up to host/judge “Is It A Band” and Peas apologizes for all the extra salt he threw on the show this week!
NOTICE: THIS EPISODE IS FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLAY THIS EPISODE.
Here is the dilemma in the face of the task of writing the notes for this show: either you’re a big fan, in which case I don’t need to write notes given that you’re going to listen to the whole episode anyway — OR — you AREN’T going to listen to this episode, but for some reason are still reading these words, in which case I’m curious as to why you’re reading notes to a show you’re not ear-chowing, BUT THAT’S OKAY! This is the second-and-final episode in-a-row in which Doktor Faux was away from Hypercube and so Fidd Chewley had to play “Guest Engineer”. Co-HMFIC of Free Think Radio, Marthartha, officiates this week’s round of Is It a Band, which ends up getting stretched out by the hosts to a 45-minute segment. So, okay, it ran a little bit long. So what?! We don’t shoot until we see THE PINKS OF THEIR EYES! Oh, you didn’t get the joke?? Well, GOOD FUCKIN’ LUCK, buddy, because the Slack Train ROLLS ON!! Aliens ABILLIONFUCKIN years from now will unearth this episode, and they will know if YOU were in on the joke or not! HURRY — figure out why the parts of this show that you didn’t THINK were funny were, actually, literally, clitorally, in fact, FUNNY, and perhaps you’ll have a chance at redumbtion!
A certain cult leader demanded that I start listing proper notes in the episode descriptions. It isn’t that FUN has been banned; my travails have become his FUN! AND I FELL FOR IT!
“It was in a mirror, at some time, in some place, that the first act of recognition occurred, the point when man stared into the ocean, saw his face in its infinity, grew anxious, and began to ask, ‘Who is that?…’”
Sándor Márai: Casanova in Bolzano